Shaman Idol 2
by Neko-Neko Faust VIII
Summary: Shaman Idol is baa-ack! Only this time, it isn't singing, it's voice acting! Why is
1. Default Chapter

Shaman Idol 2

A/N: Hihi (puffyamiyumishow!) ! I'm baaaa-aaaack! (Chuckie-esque laugh) With Shaman Idol 2, and you can thank/blame Invader Neo for wanting a sequel, I'm actually quite happy to do so! This will be more psycho than the 1st one! Because I just watched Darkness Falls, and I'm listening to William Hung and various Sailor Moon Midis!

And now…a word from Cartman: Nya nya nya nya nya nya! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Disclaimer: I don't own any things that may pop up in here, except maybe an OC from another fic or something. Just expect madness, alright!

An ominous purple sky serenaded the mammoth building of Glorious Hair Productions Inc…

The company was in utter ruin, and the CEO and founder, Hao-sama was near a nervous breakdown…

"I'M OUT OF HAIR GEL!" he screamed into the dusk infernally.

The Hanagumi consoled him, giving him flowers, and stroking his beautiful long hair with gentle fingers. He would not stand for it.

"How about some Shiny Sally hair gel?" suggested Maachi, Jack standing behind her eating a Popsicle.

Jack shook his head, and held out his hand.

Hao, in desperation, slapped it with a briar switch, causing Jack to explode into tears and be carried to the infirmary downstairs…in other words, the basement, since they were so broke.

"Oh, it's a purgelknaven!" cried a certain blonde haired magician floating down into the open roof of the building on a giant Homer Simpson pool noodle with Eliza and the Authoress.

"A purgel-what? What the fuck are you talking about!" screamed Hao, frantically searching for his hair gel.

"A purgelknaven, in other words: A WHIPPING BOY! My god Faust you would make a good yaoi seme!" cried Opacho ecstatically.

Faust/Fred Astaire's electric blue eyes squinted in fury. "A 4-Kids associate! Opacho must die!"

Suddenly, a giant ice-cube set Opacho on fire, causing the entire Glorious Hair Productions Inc building to fall to ashes onto the New York pavement.

"Ohohohohohohohohohohohoho!" the three laughed, still sipping the same Italian sodas from Shaman Idol 1.

Hao nearly pulled out clumps of his beautiful hair, but Mari dutifully stopped him with the power of Ashcroft.

Kanna was engraged. "Mari, you can't control Ashcroft!"

Mari ran away, leaving Hao and Kanna alone, with Ashcroft running off to hang out with his best friend, FMA's Alphonse Elric.

"Fuck you!" squealed Alphonse, brandishing a middle Ottomail finger.

The two suits of armor laughed happily, eating ice cream, until…

CARTMAN.

"Screw you guys, I'm gonna be the boss of this story." he scoffed, allowing a building to appear from nowhere.

"I summon all of you!" he said, gracefully dancing with his obese 8-year old body in a ceremonial dance appropriately titled: "The Dance To Summon The Retards."

A gargantuan crowd materialized in front of the new building, called "I'm Not Fat I'm Just Big Boned Productions."

Among them were the smiling faces of Yoh, Hana, and a dangerously sparkling Anna, the determined faces of Ren Hung and this time joining him two mysterious partners….

The drunken, loving faces of Marco and Lyserg, his jail bait…the feuding, cat-fighting faces of Hao and Jeanne…even the vegetating face of Horohoro!

"It's so nice to have the gang back together." sighed Cartman with a sense of euphoria.

A bitter-looking, half-alive Opacho haughtily glared at Cartman with the look of a basilisk. "For one, you sound like you're high. And for two, you don't even know these people."

"No…I don't…." he sounded like Ronald Reagan. "But I know…what's in their pants." finished Cartman with an air of dignity and nobility.

"Oh…" he added. "Screw you, die in a breadbasket."

Magically, Faust, Eliza, and the Authoress appeared down from the sky on a giant meatball, singing various songs from Grease, and killing Opacho with a breadbasket and sending him to the depths of Hell. (A/N: I really hate Opacho. )

"Thanks guys." said Cartman, saluting the glorious, almighty trio as they returned to the heavens.

"Ohohohohohoho!" they laughed jauntily.

The brown-haired, obese, third grader kindly beckoned the group into the building, and into the audition room, which strangely, for all the space, was the size of a broom closet.

"Mari can't breathe." whined Mari.

Cartman laughed, "Do you all know why you're hya?" (A/N: Hya "Here" )00;)

Ren Hung raised his hand. "To show that we have talent and we not afraid to use it? To WOW da American world?"

'Such an eager little tyke…' thought the 8 year old, reminiscing, 'He reminds me of my younger self…so naïve…'

"NOO! Wrong boi!" he yelled, spitting onto the populace, who recoiled in horror.

The crowd was in embarrassed silence.

Cartman raised his hand majestically, "Nope…in this contest, you won't sing….you'll be…."

"Voice acting."

A/N: Yuppers! They shall be voice-acting, as if they were seiyuus! But they will not be voice-acting anime! I'll give you a clue: MUSICAL.

Stay tuned, okay! You ought to read this, Invader Neo! You are the one who requested a SEQUEL in the first place!

PS: Don't worry, it gets funnier, and I know this chapter was short, but I'm lazy ;-) (Don't ask about the clown-hair winking smiley-face, I just watched Killjoy, I freaked out and screamed….my neighbors yelled at me, and my mother made me watch teh CANDYMAN after that. I believe I'm traumatized. My cousin laughed at me. Life sucks.


	2. GREASE!

Shaman Idol 2

A/N: Hihi (puffyamiyumishow!) ! I'm baaaa-aaaack! (Chuckie-esque laugh) With Shaman Idol 2, and you can thank/blame Invader Neo for wanting a sequel, I'm actually quite happy to do so! This will be more psycho than the 1st one! Because I just watched Darkness Falls, and I'm listening to William Hung and various Sailor Moon Midis!

And now…a word from Cartman: Nya nya nya nya nya nya! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Disclaimer: I don't own any things that may pop up in here, except maybe an OC from another fic or something. Just expect madness, alright!

"Awright you pot-smoking anime characters…." began Cartman, watching Yoh, who after hearing this searched his pockets and hid his pipe. "The musical is….."

They waited in slightly embarrassed, foreboding, HORROR.

He made a majestic gesture with his hands.

"GREASE."

Everyone fell down anime-style, with disconcerting series of anguished screams that pierced the afternoon like an arrow piercing the already-dead Opacho.

"What the hell! Why! I ain't doin' Grease!" shouted an extremely upset, orange-haired youth standing in the background.

In horror, all of the Shaman King Cast, at least those who remained alive, except Horohoro, who was vegetating, turned around.

"KYO!" they shouted in unison, sweatdropping.

He nodded proudly, but as the crowd burst into shouts of, "Kawaii!" and, "We love you, Kyon-Kyon!", Cartman blew a gasket. Steam was nearly visible from his ears.

In a flash that nobody could see or hear, blood rained like a demented shower over the heads of the would-be voice actors and actresses. Above them, dangling from the ceiling on a crudely made noose, was a bloodied pulp of Kyo, dripping lifeblood onto the head of Iron Maiden Jeanne, whose hair turned red.

"Look's like your hair's back to it's natural color." Hao guffawed, clapping his hands.

"And I'll kick your ASS! You fucker!" hissed Jeanne in retaliation.

A drunken Marco and Lyserg staggered over to the two, "Heey…." drawled Marco, slapping Lyserg's backside.

"Can't we all be friendsss? Ah mean, we don't wanna end uup jush bah owershelfes….we gotta schtick togesher…."

Lyserg nodded in agreement and groped his near child-molester appropriately, smiling bashfully.

They staggered away with a chorus of the Irish Drinking Song, laughing all the way, going unnoticed by the tyrannical Cartman.

"So, now we're gonna decide on roles. I decide, you don't. If you talk without I, The Great Cartman, giving you permission, your balls will be my personal property. You got me?"

The men in the crowd covered their fronts protectively, looking around in suspicion at their wives and girlfriends.

Faust (A.K.A. Fred Astaire) was annoyed with the monotony and went off to have some fun with Eliza…but little did he know he was being watched…

BY PIRIKA!

He whipped around, called upon Eliza, and issued her attack, "Eliza! Pummel him with your Female Fist of Fury!" the moans of the evil Pirika rang throughout the halls, leading the audience to explode with savage joy and happiness at her death…

"Now! Have her transported to hell in a breadbasket! To the Fred Astaire Mobile, Eliza! You, Authoress, you come as well!"

A giant Mercedes, shaped like Faust's head and with pictures of Eliza and the Authoress adorning it flew down from the bleak gray skies and let the trio in. Faust absentmindedly and carelessly threw Pirika's body in the trunk and set off for Montana, A.K.A. Hell.

"Ohohohohohohohohohhohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho!" they laughed in unison, joyfully driving toward Montana A.K.A Hell.

"So!" shouted Cartman majestically, waving his tiny arms like a king, their gratuitous lard shaking like Jell-O. "I'll decide who does what, and I've made the first few decisions…."

He narrowed his eyes. "Jeanne as Sandy." with this, Jeanne and the X-Laws gave a collective gasp, save Marco and his jailbait Lyserg, who were far too soused to care.

"And Hao as Danny….." With this Hao began to admire himself in a mirror and wildly gyrate his hips, his chocolatey hair shaking rhythmically back and forth.

"If your hair is chocolatey does that mean I can put it in front of a heater, melt it, and make s'mores with it?" questioned an inquisitive Gavroche, who popped out of nowhere.

"Only if I say so. Gavroche, you may eat Hao's hair to the desired length." the eight-year-old said with a flourish.

Gavroche began to suck on Hao's hair, gradually grazing on it like a cow of sorts, and smiling happily…

"Okay…so, now, I call an intermission, and I'll decide on the roles next chapter."

The crowd of Shaman King characters gaped at him. "We aren't in a story."

"Are you frickin' idiots! Yes we ah!" (yes we are.) he pushed Lip and Rap, who had said it, down the enormous staircase, hearing their little twin heads bump all the way down.

"Okay! Go have intermission!" he screamed, throwing a box of tampons at the crowd. Anna quickly stuffed a few into Yoh's mouth and pushed them down. Kanna stuck one in her underwear, while Mari juggled a few.

Suddenly came Silva, bleeding from a faulty drug deal. "Help meh! I'm dying!" His mouth poured crimson.

"If you come in here one more time bleeding like that, I'll stuff a tampon down your throat."

Cartman laughed and walked out the door to intermission.

Horohoro stood vegetating until everyone had left….

"Etrd, Ann!" he cackled venomously.

Ann's face materialized on the screen…

The Evil Hillybilly Goddess Queen of the Negaverse had returned….

a/n: Sorry to everyone who is from Montana! I have nothing against you! 00 This is a very insane fic, ne? Hahahahahahaha! Have you noticed the word, "Etrd" always comes up when Ann and Horohoro speak their weird language? I don't know why….

Back with chapter three!

To Satine89: Hi! I updated, see? And I added Gavroche for no reason…I was thinking of changing my pen name, do you think I should…?

(chimo mochai)


	3. Chimo Mochai!

Shaman Idol 2

A/N: Hihi (puffyamiyumishow!) ! I'm baaaa-aaaack! (Chuckie-esque laugh) With Shaman Idol 2, and you can thank/blame Invader Neo for wanting a sequel, I'm actually quite happy to do so! This will be more psycho than the 1st one! Because I just watched Darkness Falls, and I'm listening to William Hung and various Sailor Moon Midis!

And now…a word from Cartman: Nya nya nya nya nya nya! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Disclaimer: I don't own any things that may pop up in here, except maybe an OC from another fic or something. Just expect madness, alright!

A/N: Did anyone notice the "chimo mochai" thing at the bottom of the page last chapter? It's a slight foreshadowing of things to come, mainly this chapter. First I'll educate you. "Chimo" means "Child of the Molester." and "Mochai" means "Molester of the Children." My friends and I made up a game using that, like Duck-Duck-Goose….00;

The next day…

Cartman twirled around like a princess in his underwear, his fat rolls cascading over his feet. "We're gonna play Chimo Mochai today!"

The small remaining crowd fell slightly dumbfounded.. Sweatdropping, they waited for the usually agonizing answer.

"What's Chimo Mochai?" asked the retarded Tamao.

With a slight mutter of an expletive not mentioned in a PG-13 fanfiction, Cartman shifted his fat and spoke once more, "Chimo Mochai is like Duck-Duck Goose. Chimo is Child of the Molester, and Mochai is Molester of the Children! It's really fun!"

The adults in the crowd winced while the perverted Manta raised his eyebrows suggestively at Yoh. Out of nowhere, Sana Kurata, from Kodocha, popped up….wielding a MALLET!

"Diediedie, midget PER-VEEEERRRRT!" she screamed savagely, leaving him for dead in the middle of the room.

"We better the infirmary." cautioned Kanna.

"Mari will do it!" she said, saluting.

Macchi appeared puzzled. "What do they do with the patients in the infirmary? I mean, it IS in the boiler room, otherwise known as the basement…."

Kanna shrugged, "Well, if you want to know. They feed them to Freddy."

Mari and the orange-haired Halloween freak exchanged bewildered expressions. "Freddy?"

Kanna smiled roguishly, and tossed back her blue sheet of hair. "Freddy Krueger."

A silence followed. Broken only by roughened screams of, "I'm gonna catch you and chop you up! Hahahahahha!"

Collectively, the large audience thought, 'Freddy….'

During the silence, the voice actors and actresses, rather reluctantly, one might add, gathered in a circle around Cartman and his fat.

"Okay, I'm it. I'm gonna pick who's the chimos and who's the mochais." he said authoritively.

After a few minutes of careful decision, Cartman began circling the circle.

"Chimo…chimo…chimo…." he said, passing Yoh, Anna, and Hana thoughtfully. "Chimo…chimo…."

Suddenly he paused on Marco. "MOCHAI!"

Taking it literally, everyone except the drunken Lyserg, who was obviously connected to Marco by the buttox, bolted out the door screaming, "Mochai!"

A mocha truck stopped outside the building, and let open its doors.

With all of the chaos and confusion over Marco's being a mochai…it would be the perfect time to unleash her army.

Ann's army.

"Hawhawhawhawhaw!" Horohoro laughed maniacally, opening the back door of the mocha truck viciously.

"Ghidkawoaspomfp! Pogmna reuslhna, haiohreoup! KAWIOMCNS, POANCNZXA!" he commanded the army, pointing a cheese-covered finger toward the horrified metropolis.

Suddenly…

A herd of iffy, hateful, cows were unleashed among the fair city and on "I'm Not Fat I'm Just Big Boned" productions….

What would become of them!

A/N: Yes I do in fact have an aversion to cows.

Farewell.


End file.
